Conditional-Christian Love

If you are in a relationship, then you understand the game of love. Sometimes you do things out of the goodness of your heart and other times you do things to acquire bargaining chips. For example, you give your woman a back massage because she has had a long day at work and you want to genuinely make her feel better. Alternatively, you give your woman a back massage because you’re horny and you want some action-thinking that the wiener is somehow a panacea for her tiredness. With women it is a little more subtle. Christina many times gives me a hug because she wants to make me feel better if I am stressed. Other times, she might give me a hug to selfishly look at my fine backside. The point is, unconditional love is a very hard concept for humans. We treat love like we treat our finances: commonly using metaphors of investing, growing, and fostering exchanges to meet our needs. In marriage, there is a make-believe unconditional love that we try to carry around like a sneaky cat. When things are going good, we know where the cat is and we can admire it without any fear of it running away. During bad times, the cat has escaped and gone into the crawl space where you spend the next 3 hours trying to coax it out using sardines and foul language. If I were to cheat on Christina with a big-busted blond, the proverbial cat would not be in the crawl space but instead it would be running around the house on fire-National Lampoon’s style.

There is one type of relationship where the cat is always on your lap-the unconditional love of God. You may find it odd, but I don’t like to read the Bible. I love reading tons of books and analyzing them. Why not the Bible? Well, I think to be an effective Christian I need to keep it simple. When I start reading the Bible I get all caught up in the details and forget the most important message-love. God sacrificed his son for all of us and He loves us unconditionally. We are called to try to love others unconditionally no matter their beliefs, sins, or attitudes. This is fricking hard!!! I can’t stand the majority of frickers and I judge people on a hourly basis. God doesn’t want us to judge others and put conditions on them. I hear the common phrase, “I love the person but not the sin.” Well, there is a flaw in that comment. Everyone sins so why are we putting “conditions” on “certain” sins. We can’t say to a gay person that we hate the sin but love the sinner and not expect that person to feel judged and isolated because they sin differently. Every Christian sins so why are we putting conditions on certain people? It is not our job to judge but it is our job to love. We need to do our best at unconditional love whether a person is a liberal, gay, Muslim, Atheist, gambler, gossiper, average Joe, pastor, etc. We can never reach the point of unconditional love but at least we can stop purposelessly putting conditions in the way. I say all these things because we always need a reminder to keep things simple. I know that this message can be polemic but I think that many Christians, including myself, need to keep it simple. Accept people, love them, and get that cat out of the crawl space.

Why I don’t like Mother’s Day

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Am I a bad son for not liking Mother’s Day? I love my Mom and appreciate all the sacrifices she has taken in raising me. I also enjoy treating her to food, cards, and flowers because she deserves all the recognition in the world. The problem is, I don’t like the obligatory “Mother’s Day” celebration because it doesn’t seem natural. Yesterday, I went to the store to buy my Mom a card and there was an actual line of people waiting to pick out a overpriced piece of paper. Were these patient customers really waiting to buy this card out of an act of love or an act of cultural obligation? A similar holiday that I dislike is Valentine’s Day. Is it really romantic to buy flowers for someone because you have to? My point is that showing love and affection on these days seems more like a routine then a actual portrayal of appreciation. Of course this sounds like blasphemy to most but hear me out. I think Mother’s Day should be a random day of the year. Why a random day? Two reasons, the first being that it shows your Mom that she was on your mind. Secondly, the time and money that you spent for her is by your own choosing-not because it is was a prescribed day on a calendar. I have an even more radical idea. Mother’s Day should be on your birthday. Why do we celebrate our birthdays when we did absolutely nothing but bring extreme amounts of pain to our mothers? Every mom suffered to some degree on that day and we should really celebrate their heroic effort to remove a human being from their body. No one deserves birthday cake more than a woman who had to push a human head through a tiny hole. So this Mother’s Day say “I Love You to your Mom” but remember that random acts of kindness throughout the year mean so much more. Pick a day out the blue, make a homemade card, and take your Mom out to get pancakes-she may remember that more than any previous Mother’s Day. To really make a memory, buy her a cake on your birthday and thank her for all the things she had to go through to become your beloved Mom.

-I love you Mom and I will say that today and everyday.