As a self-published author, my life consists of reading, writing, and begging people for reviews on Amazon. Before I started publishing on Amazon, I never realized how vital it was to have multiple reviews next to a title. The big publishers have no problem with this “star pursuit” because they have designated reviewers. The small guys have to scrape and sweat for whatever they can get. Amazon makes this almost impossible because even if someone buys your book, they cannot review it unless they have made several purchases in the past. Besides Amazon’s consumerist barriers, there are the barriers to people’s motivation. I have asked dozens of people to write me a review after reading my book – maybe 1% actually follow through.
This dismal response rate is due to several factors: people are busy, people don’t care about my self-published book, people don’t like to write, and people don’t understand the importance of the almighty star. I currently have three books on Amazon. One has 16 reviews, and the other two have 1-2 reviews. Guess which book I sell multiple copies of each month? The one with those glorious stars! The other two books are just as good – if not better – but receive no lip service! If you need any more proof of this phenomenon, just be conscious of your own Amazon buying behavior; you will look at the number of reviews and the overall rating – if a product has no reviews it is not even considered. In an attempt to ameliorate my star situation, I went to Craigslist.
Craigslist and I have been friends for some time; in the past, I found countless deals, affordable apartments, and cool roommates from the eclectic site. I posted in the Community section that I was a “Local Author looking for people to read my book and write an honest review.” I got a few responses right away from people who requested my book and a meetup. My first email conversation went something like this…
“Hi I would like to read your book, I love reading.”
“Great I will send you the PDF.”
“Would you like to meet up and discuss it? I’m a 47-year-old blonde who likes long walks…”
At that point, I thought I either found a true fan of my writing or someone who wanted me to be her divorce rebound; after showing my wife the email, I figured it was the latter. My second contact was with another local author who wanted to meet up to exchange books. We went back and forth on the time to meet and settled on Sunday at 3:00 pm. This was fine until my Fantasy Football draft got rescheduled to 3:00 pm. I frantically emailed him back several times that we would have to reschedule. There was no response until 4:00 pm…
“I waited here an hour for you!”
I felt like crap about this mix-up but who waits for someone pass the 30-minute mark? What person thinks…
“It’s 40 minutes past our meeting time…I’ll give them another 20”
My star search had two strikes. The last message I got was from a foreign guy with poor English. He wanted to meet to discuss the book and practice English. I sent him the PDF and asked for the review before meeting up with him in a week. The day came and I drove to a very rural Mcdonald’s. One would think that a middle-of-nowhere Mcdonald’s would have mostly white people. This Mcdonald’s was like a United Nations and I spent the first 15 minutes asking people if they were the person I was looking for. Finally, I found my target in the corner. He was from Saudi Arabia and very friendly. The only problem was that he didn’t read my book or write me a review. For the next two hours, we talked about Saudi Arabian culture. During that time I was confronted by a Michigander who asked us if we were Christians – he subsequently preached to us for 15 minutes. I was also stared at by a family when our conversation turned to ISIS and me taking a trip to Mecca. This scenario was made worse by my ungainly beard and my obscure knowledge of Middle-Eastern history. In the end, I never got my stars but I might be on the FBI watch list. Please if you are reading this, check out my books below and write me a quick review – it will save me some Craigslist adventures in the future.
Tackle the Library – Plato
We’re all the Chihuahuas