Is 27 Old?

Today’s my wife’s birthday and she is turning 27 years old. The last few days have been interesting because she has been obsessed with health documentaries on Netflix. Along with the documentaries, I started to notice her piqued face during wrinkle-cream commercials. My wife is like a small-skittish bird that needs to be closely observed in her natural habitat. I started to put the pieces together and put on my explorer cap – diving into the quagmire of the female brain – I discovered that she feels OLD. To better understand this thought, I tried to step into her shoes. The world as a woman sucks – plain and simple. Men have it easy for a million reasons. Men never have to worry about wrinkles. No man ever put on wrinkle cream. Most men embrace their wrinkles as a badge of honor, “I like those forehead wrinkles…you look like Clint Eastwood.” The same goes for the gut. The gut on men is standard practice and usually denotes some state of maturity. When a guy doesn’t have a gut you usually wonder if he is sick or has cancer. Men also don’t have to put on makeup or do weird things to their hair. I literally wake up 15 minutes before work, brush my teeth, comb my hair, and slither into my car half asleep. Christina’s morning routine is similar to the preparation needed for Good Morning America. There are lights, fans, and I swear ten people in the bathroom getting her ready for over an hour. Men also don’t have periods, don’t have babies, and don’t have to wear bras.

Society is too harsh on women. When I watch TV there are so many commercials of beautiful women advertising some “must need” product. Do you have split ends? You might as well be Chewbacca. Is your moisture barrier crap? You might as well be a human lizard? Are you five pounds overweight? You might as well be on My 600 Pound Life. Marketers are very good at making up products for women to buy. Does anyone really like whitened teeth? Who in their right mind is comparing the brightness of their teeth to a napkin? All of these social pressures make for a bittersweet birthday experience. Christina is not old and shouldn’t feel like her beauty is diminishing. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I think my wife is sexier than ever. If you are a woman, please take a moment to give yourself a compliment. Don’t focus on the negatives because you want to know the most attractive trait? Confidence. There is nothing sexier than a woman who owns her age, her body, and her personality. To all my women readers, I’m going to tell you a secret about men. We don’t care about split ends, arm fat, black heads, or even wrinkles. In respects to sexual arousal, men care about the big picture – boobs and butt. In respects to general attraction, men care about confidence and personality. Just be you and don’t let society push you around. Once you embrace your true strengths you will never dread another birthday again – or even a wrinkle.

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12 thoughts on “Is 27 Old?

  1. Well done, Cristian! That’s step 1. Now go buy the flowers and take Christina out for a romantic dinner. And tell her, every single day that she’s beautiful and that you love her! And, above all, be genuinely interested in her opinion on everything from what you should wear to football…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I know EXACTLY how she must feel. I turned 25 last month and I’m like “I’m so old now…I’m in my mid-20’s!” In retrospect, neither your wife nor my age is “old,” and it’s definitely society perception of “young vs old” that forces a certain thought in women. It’s also the whole getting-your-life-in-order by a certain age concept. We’re always vying for assurance that we’re not old or we ARE doing something right because we mentally create Venn diagrams too often.

    This is really nice, though. Happy belated to your wifey!


  3. Age is how you feel. When I was 55 a guy told me I looked 35. Yay! At 59 I went to Utah with my husband to meet up with a gang of 4-wheelers. I had only 2 weeks to learn how to drive one of those things. Most of my friends at church are in their 70s and 80s. I like being the baby of the group at 68. My older sister was feeling her age when she turned 70. She looks closer to 60. I told her that it was only a number and nothing to worry over, to go with how she felt. A few weeks later she thanked me, said she was feeling younger again. Unfortunately, 30 is one of those landmark years. Most women, men too, normally feel like they’re really old. Youth seems like it’s fading fast, but it truly isn’t. It’s more like a second wind.


    • You’re right about age being relative. I think the people you spend time with makes the biggest impact on your perceived age. I spend a lot of time with high schoolers in my job and they keep my mind set young and less serious. Maybe the key is to always be the young spirit in any group you’re in :).


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